She hasn't eaten anything the whole day. It was in the afternoon. We thought we'll play something since there will be a control examination the next day and after that we can't come home for a while again... but until then, my dear child would spend every minute playing.
We just wanted to play a little, that's a small wish, but it was not about to happen.
15:45. "Mum!!!" Bleeding again!!! Her nose started bleeding. Again. I knew she doesn't have any thrombocytes, so the bleeding won't stop. And of course there could be hidden bleeds inside, which we might not even see, but they might be fatal. Since the bags were already packed we just had to throw them in the car and pick up a few more things. Meanwhile rain started to pour down real bad! Soaked up to my knees, I packed into the car really fast and also put some stiller on a gauze, which in this case doesn't do anything good, but at least we had to try. She squeezed her little nose as she could with it, but she was crying all the while. She is familiar now with the feeling, the blood goes down into her throat, but she is afraid of it very much, if she ever throws up blood, she gets hysterical. In her eyes I saw fear. I never saw that before, she NEVER was afraid before at all. I still managed to calm her somehow, amid all the rush with the bags to the car. I could only say: "everything will be allright." And I could say it out loud even though a kidney bowl was full of blood already, her thin, little legs were shaking like when you are having an important exam, she had nausea and stomach pain, the threat of bleeding out looming over her and she hadn't eaten anything for two days... and I say something like that?!? But she still believed me, she believed that everything would be all right.
16:00 Let's go! Rain was still pouring down, but the real problem was that the water which suddenly poured down couldn't yet find its way off the road. At first the tires of the car were just spinning around on the water, though all I wanted was just to go, go, go! I so wanted to go along, but I got a red light, then another one and then yet another one...
16:20 We're at Martonvásár, on the freeway, but every minute seems like an eternity. And it's just raining and raining. I was driving blindly, windscreen blades were on max capacity, but I still couldn't see anything because of the water pouring on the windscreen, it was as if we were driving into nothingness...
We get to Budapest under record time. I can only hope that no speed meter caught us on the freeway.
16:30 Rush hour in Budapest. We slow to a crawl. It was nerve-racking, especially in such a situation. With a speed of 20 km/h, but 200 of blood-pressure we finally make it through the city. We are in the finish, at last. They took some blood from her. Soon we had the result which I already knew without any laboratory examination. Her thrombocyte count is 5, so effectively none at all! (I don't know by heart the exact reference values, but we used to be happy with a count of 200). Meanwhile she got sick, thrown up, but I don't know what, since she didn't eat anything today. This is a bad sign, it means yesterday's food is still in her stomach...
The blood-picture and the symptoms are very bad. We are to go into the isolation room. We were never here before... We're waiting for the blood. We're playing.
20:00 They hook up the thrombocyte concentrate. Meanwhile we still play, we try to make up for what we missed at home.
Her little heart is not that strong any more, so she goes to sleep soon. Hugging each other we try to rest after this horrible day. - A.
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