Do the others matter?

Yesterday I was going up to the sleeping-quarters in the hospital, I was waiting for the elevator. It arrived but the doors didn't open. I heard people were locked inside but the door just wouldn't open. Two older ladies were coming down from upstairs. Somehow the doors were finally pried open so they could get out. I wouldn't have wanted to stuck inside too, so I asked them: "the doors didn't open, was there some problem?". They didn't even look at me, they just left me there, while one of them answered with complete uninterest in her voice: "well it opened for us, nothing else matters!" (You should have seen her expression, she really meant what she said, it was just astonishing...)
That triggered a thought chain in my mind... so if I get this right "nothing else matters", so if she could get out, the others don't matter at all, she could have also said: "I'm alive, nobody else matters!?" Okay, I know that's a bit extreme, but this casual remark just hit me so hard... especially now as we are waiting for a bone-marrow donor and I've read that in our country there's only a quarter as much blood-donors than needed. So "I got blood and nobody else matters?" I think that's why there's only a quarter of people available as potential bone-marrow donors. I as a living being have all the opportunity to save someone's life sometime just by being a donor. Every human being therefore has a great power inside just by being alive.
(...)
I would like to thank everyone very much, who told me that they would like to test themselves if they're suitable donors.
I took Zorka's blood and mine to the National Blood Supply Service on Monday, 18 July, typing is in progress. When we got the results of this, then we shall know exactly what conditions there are for someone to be a donor.
For starters, usually the brothers or sisters are suitable, however as Zorka doesn't have a brother or sister, we are in a worse position, but it's not impossible. Often there's a high level of tissue-identity even between two complete strangers. So I'm sure "our donor" is somewhere out there, we just have to find him or her.

Please help me, so I can climb this tree next year, too! - Zorka

The 2nd Cytopenia

The thrombocyte count on Monday was not very good. We had to stay in the hospital for replacement. First we were waiting, finally it arrived, the infusion finished, then we left. Zorka wanted to sleep at home once more no matter what. So I asked the doctors to let us home if there was nothing else that required us to stay. They agreed, so by half past 6 we were at home. Our happiness didn't last for long, because at around 10 o'clock in the evening, I felt that she had a fever. In this case there's no option, we have to go back immediately. I was barely awake by now after a really tiring day. There was much crying but I managed to finally persuade her, that the best thing to do is to go back. This fever was really unexpected, since all the cell counts were good (except the thrombocyte count, but she got a replacement of that).
We left for the hospital at around half past 10, we played twenty questions along the way. That kept me from falling asleep. We laughed a lot on the animals and things we guessed right. To tell the truth I was crying all along, but she couldn't have seen it from the back seat... she only heard my laughter...
We shot through the desolate streets of Budapest, so we got to the hospital very fast. By then the fever decreased thanks to the pill I gave her. Right then at around midnight they started an antibiotic treatment, since she has no immune system now, so it's necessary. Starting on Wednesday however she needed another antibiotic treatment, because the fever returned again and again. On Thursday she needed a blood replacement. This time two replacements were enough, while she needed 4 during the last period of cytopenia.
They draw blood from two different places because of the fever. The central one is not enough, they need a punctured, too. This had to be repeated several times, since a blood sample was needed when she had a fever and also when she had not. A branula was also needed and the cell-growth medication is needle punctured, too...
We have a lot of needle punctures behind us. This time around it was really a lot. But finally now some well-deserved playing at home!

A Little Girl's Dream

This morning she told me: "Mum, in my dream, I was eating, I dreamt that I was able to eat. It was such a good dream..."
How can fate be so cruel with this sweet little girl, that her biggest dream is to be able to eat something?! I heard again as she went to sleep that she is hungry... she is going to sleep with a rumbling stomach for days now...
...we were watching home videos of rabbits on youtube. In one of the videos the rabbit was eating a carrot but she asked me to switch it off, because it just made her hungry...
I'm just asking Fate, God, the Angels, myself, so that she could just eat whatever she wants, as much as she wants. I always loved to watch as she was eating. Her sweet round face as she is eating, it's a wonderful sight... I see that picture in my mind and I hope I'm going to see it again for real, not just in my imagination...